You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'Uncategorized' category.

As I stated in my previous post, I am a contributor to www.Theophilux.com, a web based theology blog and forum, as is Benji Overcash. I will continue to use this wordpress blog, but only as a personal outlet.  Anything of substance that I write will now be found on Theophilux.

Represented by the contributors (not all contributors have posted their full profiles yet) are:

  • Two Masters of Divinity
  • One seeking a Masters of Divinity (me)
  • Two Masters of Arts in Theological Studies
  • One completing a Master of Arts in Biblical Studies (Benji)
  • One member of Youth With a Mission
  • One member with a Bachelors in Christian Ministries

Each of these members contributions are subject to peer review as well, increasing the quality of the articles.

I also stated that there are varying degrees of membership levels.  A full membership gives the member full access to the site as well as the ability to contribute via the forums and posting comments on blog postings of the contributors.  This is where the fun of the site is found.  I have discovered that I yearn to discuss theology, Christology, ecclesiology, etc, with different individuals.  Yet this discussion happens very rarely and is usually an abbreviated discussion due to constraints in schedules.  But, through this forum, it can be had at any time.  That is one thing I really missed about graduating from college.  No longer in a dorm, it’s difficult to hold conversation with someone because you live far apart and are usually going different directions.  I believe Theophilux.com will be the solution to this problem.

Since this is in its beginning phase, the administrator has decided to offer free 6 month memberships if subscribed to by 8/31.  Just use the promotion code: 6MONTHS4ME.  That way, you will be able to see the site start rolling and for free.  If you don’t like it, don’t renew at the end of the free 6 months.  If you do, then you can choose from the membership options.  I do hope that anyone reading this with a desire to delve deeper into the study of God will take this opportunity.  Again, you must join by 8/31 in order to receive the free 6 months.

  • We already have scheduled several featured articles that will be posted soon.  We also have forum topics up.  I am writing an exegesis paper right now on 2 Samuel 6 and will probably post that online (or perhaps in an abreviated format) in the coming weeks.
  • I have already posted a blog entry on the beliefs I was raised under as compared to my current beliefs.
  • My first significant article posting will be an in depth look at the nature of revival Biblical, as compared to what has been seen historically.

So try it out, the first 6 months of full membership are free.  You can’t beat that.

I do not if anyone has noticed the new link that I added on the left.  It is my new blog.  Truth is, its not just mine.  It’s is a blogging/discussion community.  We have numerous individuals who will be contributing articles on a regular basis for discussion.  There is a forum where we can discuss issues of a theological nature continuously.

It’s something which I am really excited about.

This is something which I have been desiring since I entered the realm of blogging.

The contributors we have now are mostly members of my church, as this was an idea birthed by a member of my church (Danny Nelson).  We do not exclusively have members from our church.  We also have an individual who is with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and has come to adopt views that are quite antithetical to Presbyterian thought.  Also, we have the truly brilliant Benji Overcash on board.

So there is definitely a range of thought present on the site.  It is in its infancy right now.  The beginning of September is expected to be the official launch of quality articles and discussion.

I invite all to join this online community.  There are varying degrees of membership levels to the site, so check it out and see if it interests you.  I have high hopes of an online community that builds up and edifies each other; a community that uses multiple people from multiple backgrounds to strive for greater understanding.  I also think it will be quite fun.

I have posted one blog entry so far, with more to come shortly.  I hope to do my first scholarly level article by the first two weeks of August.  I hope to do an in depth examination of the Biblical concept of revival as compared to the historical practice (with key examples!).

The website again is www.theophilux.com

This is the phrase that is being spoken more and more at my church.  We have been a congregation that sought the arm of God.  We have sought his actions, signs, and miracles.  We have sought to know about God as much as possible.  Now comes the breakthrough… We are striving to know God intimately.  He is awakening in us a desire to know Him as Abba.

Papa…Daddy…these are words that we are told we are to use to show our familial relationship with our God.  He is not simply Lord.  He is not only King.  He is not only the High and Lofty One who demands obedience.  He is the loving Father.  He deals tenderly with His adopted children.  He desires a relationship with His children.

So why is this so hard for me?

  • It’s hard for me to address God as Father, let alone Daddy.
  • It’s hard for me to see God in an intimate relationship with me.
  • It’s hard for me to connect my head to my heart.

Maybe that is why:

  • I don’t spend time in prayer.
  • When I pray, it’s as if I am simply throwing my prayers into the air, hoping that God will hear them from where He is.
  • I tend to rely on “cheap grace” as Bonhoeffer put it.
  • I keep finding the need to check myself to make sure I don’t meander into hyper-Calvinism.

Why do I have this difficulty?

  • I think much of it I can chalk up to issues with my Dad.
  • I also think its because I grew up with a knowledge of God, yet had no relationship with Him.
  • The more I study with God as the object of my studies, the more distant from Him I grow.

What can I do?

  • I need to pray.
  • I need to pray that God will change me.
  • I need to seek relationship with Him.
  • I need to realize that not only is God the subject of my studies, but He is the agent by whom true learning is given.

What do I feel like right now?

  • I feel like one of the Scribes and Pharisees.
  • I know about God, but I don’t have much of a relationship with Him.

Why was Honduras so different?

  • I was in constant communion with God each time I went to Honduras.
  • I truly felt like His son at those times.
  • But each time I got back to the states, I went back to this garbage.

Forgive me Papa, I only want to be Your son.

What am I going to do when I get out of seminary?

  • What will my church look like at that point?  Would I be needed there?
  • I have a desire to preach.  But in what capacity does God have me doing that right after seminary?
  • Will I go on to a higher degree?
  • Will I work in the secular field?  If so, what could I possibly do with my degrees (Sell used cars, perhaps)?
  • Will God lead me to another church/town/state/region/country?
  • Will I be led to help plant a church perhaps?
  • What will my church look like at that point?  Would I be needed there?

When will I get out of seminary?

Will I buy a motorcycle?

  • I have in mind a Honda Nighthawk 250cc, so perhaps I should have put motorcycle in quotations.
  • I want one to save gas money on as well as to enjoy the commutes a bit more.

What was Steve Smith (of the Carolina Panthers) thinking?

Why do I do what I do not want to do?

When will Mutemath’s new album come out?

Why don’t I write down my thoughts for blog entries when I don’t have Internet access in order to post them later?  I never remember what I think that I will at the time.

When can I make a difference?

I have always been quite perplexed by II Samuel 6, which is why I have chosen it to do my exegesis paper on during the summer (well, at least through verse 15 the whole nudity thing isn’t what I’m so befuddled by).

So I have been doing an Inductive Bible Study of my selected passage today and I feel that there are some similarities to what is going on in my church right now.  And in case that doesn’t have you confused, go ahead and read II Samuel 6:1-15.

Here’s a quick rundown (and if you rely on my rundown rather than read it for yourself than shame on you).

  • David and the chosen men of Israel go to bring the ark of YHWH into Jerusalem.
  • Uzzah and Ahio, brothers, are in charge of the cart which is carrying the ark.
  • One of the oxen pulling the cart stumbles while just outside the city, and Uzzah reached out his hand to steady the ark.
  • God is infuriated by Uzzah’s error and strikes him dead on the spot.
  • David gets mad at God, then subsequently fears bringing the ark into Jerusalem.
  • David takes the ark into the house of a Gittite (non-Israelite).
  • For three months the presence of the ark brings blessing to Obed-edom, the Gittite, and all his household.
  • David then brings the ark into Jerusalem with much fervor, dancing, and much to Michal’s displeasure, nudity on the part of David.

Sure we don’t have the ark in our church, sure nobody has died recently from touching said ark, sure nobody dances in the nude in our church (at least while in our church, that is).  But I tell you there are similarities.

Bill has been preaching on the love of the Father and His desire for intimacy with us.  Well we have recently been ushered into the presence of the Father.

Here’s what happened last Sunday.

  • Most things did not go right.
  • Everything felt a bit haphazard; nothing flowed well at first.
  • The person whose responsibility it was to pray after the music and before the sermon (pastoral type prayer along with a prayer over the offering) didn’t get his cue to come up due to a lack of communication over how many songs would be played.
  • So instead, Matt (member of the worship team that is still standing on stage at this point) started praying.  Then Henry, the worship leader started.  Their prayers were extremely anointed and it served to introduce the congregation to the Father’s yearning for us.
  • Then Henry said that the tithe was not important right now, it would break up what was happening and it would cause us to be distracted (It must be said that we are in dire financial straits right now, but that was secondary to what God was doing; we can always trust Him).  So we ended up dropping our offerings in the plate on the way out the doors later on.
  • The music continued.  The song was “True Intimacy”.  I think that that continued until around 12 which is when we normally end the service.  So we didn’t have a sermon on Sunday.
  • Instead, what we had was a congregation that was invited to have intimacy with the Father.  The Holy One, the Lion, the Sovereign King over all, spoke to his beloved children and revealed how loudly His heart beats for us.
  • I was in the sound booth running the slides.  At one point I left the slides in order to just go and embrace my friend Curt who was running sound.  We were both weeping at the knowledge of the Father’s love for us.  (and not to be too inwardly focused, I think I was crying more so because of seeing God’s great love for Curt; I was weeping in joy with him)
  • By 1:30 there were still a good deal of people in the church.

So how in the world does that relate to the ark and Uzzah’s death and Obed-edom’s blessing and David’s dancing?

I felt like David.   Throughout II Sam 6, David exhibits a flow of emotional states.  He was (1) joyful, then (2) angry, then (3) afraid, then (4) joyful.

Here is where I will chart my emotional states as they reveal my reaction to the movement of God.

  1. As I sensed God moving upon the people, I rejoiced.  I sat back and watched the love of Yahweh being poured out upon our congregation (my vantage point in the sound booth is pretty good for things like that).  I rejoiced over my friend(brother) Curt.  If I were a dancing man, I would have danced.  But I am a crying man, so I wept.  I rejoiced that God’s presence and His blessing was here, just as David rejoiced in the presence of the Ark and it’s blessing.
  2. I never felt angry, this one isn’t an exact one to one relationship.  Nobody died, so I didn’t get angry.  I simply skipped to #3.
  3. Fear.  The presence of God is the presence of pure and undefiled holiness.  When corruption comes in contact with that holiness, the corruption is obliterated.  Uzzah died.  My sins become apparent.  Just as Isaiah, I cry in my inward, “Woe is me!”.  I feel as though I am as good off as Uzzah.  Contact with holiness will only destroy that which is not holy.  I felt almost as though this was a curse and I feared intimacy with my God.  I recoiled a bit at the thought of His presence.  If I could, I would send Him to someone else just as David had done.
  4. I realized the blessing that comes from the presence of God.  I realized that I am clothed with the righteousness of Christ (Imputed, not imparted righteousness).  The holiness of God exposes my sin but I am not destroyed for them.  That destruction had been wreaked upon Another.  So, I rejoiced at the blessing which intimacy with God brings, just as it did to Obed-edom.  And now I rejoice over and yearn for the presence of God, intimacy with YHWH, my Papa, just as David did, and is known for doing with all his heart.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a few weeks.  This summer got hectic very quickly.  I worked the Vacation Bible School for my church and haven’t had a moment’s rest all this week and few the weeks leading up to it.  I’ll blog again this coming week hopefully.

Theology is pretty sweet.  A deep and rich theology is necessary for the Church.  Good theology will alert the pastor to the Wolves that are invading his flock.  Good theology will alert people when their beliefs are not in line with the revelation of our Lord through the Word of God.  Good theology can excite.  Good theology can also detach the head from the heart.

Great theology unites the two.

Great theology is concerned with Orthodoxy as well as Orthopraxy.

Great theology is bathed in love.

 

A member of my Church (named Steve) has a friend from work (named Aamed or Achmed, I’m not certain which) who is an Egyptian with a Muslim background.  I do not know if he was a practicing Muslim or not.  But Steve spoke with his friend at work with love.  He told him of Christianity and its Christ.  Aamed (I’ll just stick with that name for now) was intrigued.  He stated he wanted to learn more about Christians; their religion sounded quite foreign to him.  Steve invited him to our church; a good learning opportunity for Aamed.  So Aamed came on Sunday.

After walking in the doors, seeing the people, being greeted, watching as hugs were exchanged,  Aamed noticed something.  The interaction of the people were not forced.  The people were not being respectful out of cultural obligation.  Courtesies were not simply exchanged.  Love permeated every interaction Aamed witnessed.  He leaned over to Steve and said, “I have never witnessed so much love in my life.”

Bill (our senior pastor) preached on God the Father.  He preached God the Father as Abba, Daddy.  He preached on the intimate relationship our Daddy has with us, despite what our jaded culture says, despite what our broken relationships with our fathers tell us.  This is the message that Bill’s Daddy in Heaven is teaching him now. 

Tears were poured out by the congregation.  God was illuminating to us the truth of his love for us.  Our good theology fell short.  Our hearts became connected to our heads, and we now have Great theology.

Aamed heard of a God radically different than Allah.  He heard of Yahweh.

Aamed was hearing Bill during the sermon, and the music prior to that.  But Aamed heard another voice throughout the service.

Aamed was in conversation with the Holy Spirit.

After the service, Aamed came up to be prayed over, by Christians.

 

 

And that’s just one of the things that God is doing in His people right now.  Yahweh is calling His beloved children to Himself.  In fact, He is running to meet them (Luke 15:20).

Summer is boring. 

  • I love the rain, and this drought just isn’t giving us much.  Also, the magnolia tree that we’ve transplanted into our yard is struggling.
  • I’m only taking one class this summer.  It meets one Saturday each month this summer.  It gives me a lot of time to procrastinate in between sessions.
  • I’m only allowed to work 20 hours a week as a Graduate Assistant.  I wish I could work more.  I have a lot of work to do and it makes it feel like I’m taking many different classes since I am editing class films.
  • I’m realizing how much of an emotional eater I am.  I eat when I get bored.  Specifically, I eat sweets.  The pan of brownies we made on Monday hardly made it to Wednesday.  I forced myself to stop eating so Sarah could have some.  I need to lose weight.
  • I still don’t have a computer.  I have to wait till I go to work to check email.  I can blog and surf the Internet while I have a video capturing on the other computer.
  • I’m not going to Honduras this summer.  That’s difficult for me.  I keep my car windows down in the heat and I smell every diesel that goes by, pretending for a moment that I am descending on a winding mountain road, progressing toward Playa Grande on the Pacific Coast.

On the other hand, I enjoy summer.

  • I have plenty of time to play with my dog.
  • I grilled out on Tuesday.  We invited Jacob (Sarah’s eldest brother) over for it.  I grilled burgers and hot dogs.  I also sauteed mushrooms for the burgers.  Sarah heated up some baked beans and made chili for the dogs.  It was very relaxing.
  • I’m eager to get some patio furniture so I can sit outside.
  • Our landlord has a garden next to our yard.  They gave us an enormous zucchini.  I think I’ll try to grill it soon.
  • I have plenty of time to read (It’ll be even better when I get some patio furniture).

And on another note.

  • I’ve given two homeless people rides this month.
  • I’m not saying this to blow my own horn by any means.  I hope to encourage you to not be afraid.
  • We hear horror stories that keep us from picking up those in need.  But that is really just our selfishness.
  • Before I picked up the individual on each occasion, I quickly asked my Father in Heaven, who knows all things, whether to take the person and whether I would be safe.
  • Each time I was told (not audibly, but the message was definitely given to me) that it would be fine.  Also, what does it matter if they tried to steal from me or something like that.  All that I have was given to me by God, so I cannot fear losing things.  That fear only prohibits me from being used by God to help those in need whom I do not know.
  • The first time I was kind of afraid.  I actually think the woman might have been a prostitute.  I was pondering that all day afterwards.
  • The second time I was confident in the Lord’s purposes.  I spoke to the man about church (he even brought it up).  He said he didn’t think tithing is scriptural so he stopped going to each church that he had tried.  I told him my thoughts on it and he seemed to agree (at least in order to be polite).  Then I invited him to my church since he seemed to have transportation to get there (he recently stopped going to Newspring just down the road from us).  I wrote down my name, my church’s name, its address and phone number.  I don’t know if he will ever come.  But I invited him, and told him of God’s grace.  I was happy the rest of the day.
  • Again, I say this not to speak of anything good which I myself have done.  These are two instances which I heeded the call of God to love; the first of which I was scared and didn’t really say anything.  There are countless instances in which I ignored that call.  But God is graceful to me.  He longs to use His beloved in order to reach that which is lost.

The wife and I finished reading through John’s gospel recently.  I thought it would be good to proceed to John’s epistles, but Sarah stated that she really desired to read through the book of Revelation.  I sighed and agreed, knowing that there was precious little I would be able to contribute to the confusion we may get ourselves in by reading the apocolypse of John.

Well, I couldn’t be more wrong. 

  • Each time Sarah stopped us and said, “Well what do you suppose that means?”  I shrugged my shoulders and said, “It appears to be metaphorical to me.  My professor termed it a verbal painting.  It communicates emotion more than exact predictions.  Let’s keep reading.”
  • She would nod her head and we would continue.
  • Then, light bulbs were going off in our heads.
  • Once we stopped trying to figure out what it meant and simply respond to what was said, we tasted the goodness and faithfulness of God.
  • In the midst of the opening of the Seven Seals, there is a break in the flow of thought.
  • The people of God are seen worshipping Him.  And there is not one missing.  All have been preserved, none have been destroyed.
  • Then the Seventh Seal was opened.

In the midst of the woes, there is a blessing for God’s people.  Sarah and I looked at each other, with tears in her eyes and a smile on my face (both indicative of our joy), and we recounted that the woes are not for the children of God, but for the ungodly, for those who do not love.  We rejoiced in God’s promise that we will not be destroyed, we have not been forsaken, and no amount of persecution the Church has ever or will ever face could remove one member of Israel from the presence of God when this time has passed.

To YHWH be the Glory!

Today is my rebirthday.  And no, that is not like the unbirthday celebration in Alice in Wonderland.  It was on this day in 2004 that I was called out by God.  I was reborn June 6, 2004.  And being a history buff at the time, I realized that that was exactly 60 years after D-Day, June 6, 1944.  Not that I find some allegorical significance in that, its just interesting to me.

I thought I would relate the story of my salvation today.  Perhaps later I will write about how God has been continually saving me since that day.

Although born into a Christian home, my experience with church as a child was not a good one.  We were Assembly of God but lived far away from the Assembly of God church we attended.  Each Sunday we tried to go, my older brother got carsick.  So I associated church with illness (and vomit) while I was a child.  In fact, this was the reason we rarely went to church while I was growing up. 

I don’t remember much of the preaching at the various churches we tried to attend.  The bits that I can remember centered on Dispensational-Pretribulation-Premillianialism or on a very supeficial relationship with Christ that was characterized usually with the term “sweet” which was also the only time the preacher was not on the verge of yelling.  So I didn’t like going to church and listening to people sing poorly for two hours, then getting yelled at for another hour over stuff I didn’t even understand.  But I became fascinated by the end times.

The eschatalogical scheme which I learned bred obsession with the end times.  My view of Christianity was of looking to the future and making sure you don’t get left behind.  I watched filth such as the Omega Code movies and the worthless TBN movies, one of which had Mr. T killing people with an uzi because they were left behind so it was ok to kill people now since they had no hope of getting saved (or something like that, they never quite made sense).

So throughout my childhood and high school years, I was paralyzed by a legalism which that system often breeds, but which I cultivated on my own.  I did not hang out with friends after school, because I was afraid we would go to a party, get drunk, and then I would lose my virginity, which for some reason was the unpardonable sin in my aberrant hamartiology.  I called myself a Christian, but I was a worthless hypocrite.

I attended a megachurch in Easley with a friend.  It was more superficial than any church I had ever attended.  The sermon topics seemed to rotate between Tithing/Finances, Not Hating People, and What Would Jesus Eat.  I went because I could wear jeans and the the service was very entertaining.  (I am not equating my experience at this particular megachurch with all megachurches.  This was just a particularly wretched one.)

Then, it was time for me to go to college.  I pretty much had a free ride to Clemson University, but that school scared me.  I thought that if I went to a “party school” I would get drunk, have sex, and therefore lose my eternal salvation.  So, I ended up at Southern Wesleyan University.  I met some great friends who encouraged me to seek understanding and a deep relationship with Christ.  That is definately something I needed to hear.  I am convinced that at this time, I was not yet in the family of God.  I was being regenerated, but I could not say that I was in Christ.

On one eventful day, Chris asked me to come to a church with him that some Puerto Rican (Jeremy Palomo) invited him to attend.  I asked what kind of a church it was.  He said Evangelical Presbyterian.  All I knew was that I was told that Presbyterians are bad (frozen chosen my father taught me).  But Chris was Calvinist and definitely did not fit the mold I was expecting.  Then I was told that this church is charismatic.  Well, what the heck I thought.  I’ll try it.

There was something to this church I had never known existed in churches.  They were worshipping.  They were not simply singing, they were not engaged in a mystical experience.  They were worshipping and adoring their King.  I was blown away.  This place was different.  If it was just like any other place, if I didn’t feel a little uncomfortable, if I didn’t feel like there was something more than what I had been experiencing, then I would never have returned.  But this place put a yearning in me for more.

Summer came, and all my college friends returned to their homes in different states.  But I kept attending the EPC church in Anderson, an hour from my house.  I yearned for friendships yet I was afraid.  As soon as the benediction was given, I bolted for the doors.  But then, one day, four or five people stopped me on my way to the door.  They were not in a group, they each stopped me individually.  Each invited me to the lake that afternoon.  How could I argue with each of them?  I accepted.  The next week the same happened, I accepted again.

This particular day, June 6 2004, these kind friends I had made had to cut short their time on the lake.  They had a small group meeting.  My new friend Matt invited me to come along.  This was my way out, I would decline, citing things that I need to do at home, then be out of a disagreeable situation and putting myself at my comfortable house, playing video games.  Then, out of my mouth came the words “Yes please, I would love to come.”  My friend was happy and told me to follow him to the host’s house.  My face contorted as I pondered why those words had come out of my mouth.  Why did I say that?  I did not want to go.  I’m sure they would talk about things which I didn’t understand.  I’m sure I would say something that would show my ignorance.  I’m sure I’ll be quite bored.

I was right.  The meeting was quite boring for me.  The men and women broke off from each other to have segregated discussions.  The men were discussing things that were deep in their hearts.  I had no idea what was in my heart.  I had trained myself to become desensitized.  I had become deaf to my emotions and to my heart.  So I was quite bored.  There were a lot of young men there.  I could see that they loved each other deeply.  I could see that love was what characterized their relationships with each other and between them and their God.

At the close of the meeting, prayer requests were taken.  There was a lot of young men, I agonized at the thought of how long this would take.  I was also pondering the best route to take to return home after this.  The finger then pointed to me for a prayer request.  I thought, I don’t have one.  Nobody I know is dying.  My grades were good.  But as I stood there, I recalled their love which had resonated within me.  I swallowed.  Then I said, “I have a hard time with love.  I don’t know how to give it…”  Boy, do I look bad right now, I thought.  “And I don’t know how to receive it,” I eventually stammered.

I was exposed, I felt naked.  I was a wounded, bruised, bleeding, dying teenager.  I desperately hoped for help.  I had no idea how empty and hollow I was until I uttered those words and sat down, restating them in my mind, over and over again.

They began to pray.  As my eyes were ritualistically closed, I felt a hand placed on my back.  Then I felt another and another.  Finally Phernando placed his hand on my heart.  They were all praying for me, praying over me.  It was through these hands that I first felt truly loved.  Love of my brothers.  Then, love of my Father.  The love of God, pure and powerful, was revealed to me.  I could not stand it.  I had to lay down.  I thought I would dehydrate from the shedding of such big tears.  I cried out in lament.  I was unworthy of such love and devotion.  I felt undone, as Isaiah did.  Following my lament, the sweetest feeling overwhelmed me (I now understood that choice of word in this context).  I knew at that moment, that my sin had been atoned for long ago.

Then, the strangest thing happened.  This quiet introverted person whom they had known, began shouting praises to his King.  The words were a bit garbled and drowned under the tears, but the women meeting in another room soon were aware that something amazing was happening to me.

After a good long time spent on the floor, basking in love, pure and undefiled, I stood up, gave every man there a hug as a brother, and apologized to the host for the big wetspot my tears had caused on his new carpet.

This post deals with issues brought forth in my previous post.

Last week, my Pastor and his wife went to Florida for their son’s graduation at RTS (Reformed Theological Seminary).  While they were in the state, they went to the revival at Lakeland.  I thought, if there is anyone I would want second hand knowledge of an event from, it would be my Pastor.  They actually spent three days at the revival.

The first two days, they said they were not experiencing anything special.  They felt so dry.  People around them were worshipping freely and so on, but they reported that they felt more like observers.

Then, on the third day, they were blown away.  My Pastor said he had never experienced worship like that before in his life.  And our church prides itself (humble pride?) in its worship of God.  But he said it was so far beyond what we had experienced at our church.  He is a man that knows the difference between the workings of the Holy Spirit and the workings of man, or worse, of the Evil One.  So, I defer to his experience (whereas I had not to the experience of others who had gone) on the matter.

The presence of God was (and is, I suppose) in the Revival.  Yet, that does not mean that the teachings of its leader are 100% correct.  If God limited His movement to only those who understood and taught of Him and His ways perfectly, then we would have a God of Deism, one that took no part in His creation.  Augustine of Hippo argued in the 5th Century AD, in response to the Donatist Schism, that the validity of baptism is not contingent on the moral standing of the officiating priest, but on that of the faith of the one receiving baptism.  I believe that that has application to this situation as well.

I pray that a “healing revival” is not the end.  I pray that it is but a taste of true revival to come, revival that brings God’s people to him, and which strips away what hinders.  I rejoice in healings, (and fight my cynical human nature) but I look to the reality behind the healings, that which is pointed to by the healings.  God has victory over death.  Even sickness flees.

Proper worship of God is a difficult thing.  Worship must be done in spirit and in truth (John 4:23-24).  I focus on the truth to the point where I tend to ignore the spirit.  Others have the opposite problem.  I label others mystics (erroneously perhaps), while they (rightfully enough at times) charge me with being a Protestant Scholastic.  There must be balance.  I must plead to my King to teach me.

I’ve seen bits and pieces of stuff on the revival in Lakeland, FL.  While I cannot make judgments on this particular phenomenon (since I have not experienced it firsthand, nor have I seen much of it) I can offer up some thoughts on the revival phenomenon as a whole.

The Nature of Revival

What is a revival?

  • Most can agree that a revival would entail many people coming into saving faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ (evangelistic in scope), and/or many coming into a deeper relationship/commitment with God (sanctifying in scope).
  • Then, there are those who stress “healing revivals”.  These are where mass numbers of healings have been claimed (usually not verified) and even raisings from the dead.
  • Then there are the churches that schedule revivals quarterly.  That sounds to me like scheduling to meet with a non-Christian and already calling it a salvation.  You can’t dictate the actions and desires of your King.  He will do as He pleases, where He pleases, when He pleases and to whom He pleases.

Which is correct?

What is the norm for faith and practice?  (Scripture is, for all those who were left wondering)  We must see what scripture says of revival.

  • At first mention of revival in Scripture, Josiah’s reign as king of Judah comes to mind. 
    • Josiah inherited a kingdom polluted with pagan idolatry.
    • His forefathers had neglected and lost God’s Law.
    • Josiah had the temple cleaned, and the Law was found and restored to Israel.
    • Josiah cut down the Asherah Poles, and removed all forms of Baal and other pagan worship
    • In short, Scripture was held high (read in its entirety before the people) and pagan worship abandoned, making all the covenant people strictly and unwaveringly bound to YHWH.
  • Were there healing revivals in Scripture?
    • Yes and no
    • The only mass healing that can come to my mind (correct me if I am wrong please) would be in Numbers 21.
      • In this case, the Israelites had complained to Moses for bringing them out of Egypt to die.
      • God sent fiery serpents after them to bite them, sickening and killing them.
      • The people repented, and asked Moses to petition God for release from their anguish.
      • Moses interceded and God instructed Moses to make a bronze serpent set on a standard, that all who look upon it would be healed.
    • This case is unlike any revival we would expect today, yet it has the same effects as other revivals.
    • The people stopped complaining against God and His annointed, and were brought under His sovereignty, out of their rebellion.
    • But was healing the extent of the “revival” or did it serve as more of a physical manifestation of the spiritual reality?
    • I vote for the latter.

The Nature of Signs, Wonders, and Miracles

  • What is its purpose?
    • Scripturally, healings were done at God’s discretion, and rarely in large numbers.
      • In the Old Testament, prophets of God performed miracles by the empowering of God.  Healings were done, the dead were raised.
        • But this was not the primary focus of any of the prophets.  The primary issue was in bringing the word of God to the people (Blessings and Woes).
      • In the New Testament, Jesus performed these wondrous things, yet it certainly was not the focus of His work.  The signs and wonders were works which pointed to His origin and alluded to His purpose.  They were not works which defined His purpose (in its entirety).
        • The Apostles did many signs, wonders, and miracles.  Healings were even done by touching handkerchiefs which had been touched by Paul while he was in Ephesus (Acts 19).  But this was not their mission.  Their mission was the gospel.  At times, healings wonders and miracles were an avenue by which to proclaim the gospel.  It was not the heart of the gospel.
  • What is its role today?
    • Signs, wonders, and miracles have the same role today as it did in Scripture.  Nothing in Scripture says that it will cease at the close of the New Testament writings.
    • So, they serve as an avenue by which to proclaim the gospel.  Also, they serve as acts of a loving Father caring for His children.

How does this relate to eschatology?

Well that’s an odd connection don’t you think?  Perhaps, but I have been thinking about how the differing eschatalogical themes view the nature and number of the Church (and thus the nature and scope of revivals) in the end times.  And thus only pertain to this conversation depending on when the end times actually are.  Here it goes:

  • Premillennialism
    • This system would view the Church as reaching its culmination just before the rapture.  So revivals would be large and attract many; but the majority of the world would of course scoff at such wonders.  The thousand year reign of Christ would then begin.
  • Amillennialism
    • No rapture, the wheat grows with the tares.  Also, at the end, there is a vast apostacy, where many come under false belief.  The world is still very evil, with those who were chosen by God constituting a relatively low number, and low popularity.  Thus, revival is more understood as an underground phenomenon, such as is reportedly happening in China.  Freely expressed, international, and media covered revival is treated suspiciously.  The thousand year reign of Christ is taken figuratively rather than literally.
  • Postmillennialsim
    • A much more optimistic view is held here.  The world is evangelized and comes to faith in Christ, establishing a thousand year earthly reign of Christ.  This means that revival will be widespread as well as conspicous.
  • And of course, I don’t have a great understanding of each of these schemes.  If you hold to one which I have mischaracterized, feel free to chide me for my ignorance.

My Personal Hesitance with Revivals such as Lakeland, FL

I do not presume to know the mind of God.  I was not there when he created, and I haven’t heard His will for my life at times, not to mention for the lives of others.  I have however, looked into past revivals, charismatic leaders, and so forth.  Here are my concerns:

  • Many leaders of sign/wonder revivals later were charged with various moral failures.
  • Many leaders of sign/wonder revivals at times made prophecies which did not find fulfillment and were therefore not of God.  By the way, the Law stated that a false prophet (one whose prophetic words were not true) should be stoned to death.  I bet Benny Hinn and Oral Roberts are glad they live in the New Covenant.
  • Many leaders of sign/wonder revivals have aberrant views on the standards of the faith.  In other words, they are outside orthodoxy, or just plain heretics.  William Branham was a great example of a heretic that led supposed sign/wonder revivals.  He is said to have been John the Baptist or the prophet Elijah by his followers.  Although I do not know if he himself has done so, but Todd Bentley (of the Lakeland revival) has been compared to Branham by some of the attendees at his revival.
  • And lastly, the whole punching people in order to heal them is quite ridiculous.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just search on Youtube for faith healers or Todd Bently specifically.  I know Jesus and the apostles didn’t deck anyone in order to heal them.

Last thoughts

I again state that I do not know enough of this particular phenomenon in order to judge its fruits yet.  So, with trepidation I have listed my concerns, but I must claim ultimate ignorance over the will of God.  He will do as He pleases, where He pleases, when He pleases, and to whom He pleases.

Soli Deo Gloria!

 

Lately, I’ve felt like I hadn’t much to say.  Couple that with the fact that the only time I have access to a computer now is when I’m at work, I haven’t been blogging regularly.

Life has been quite monotonous lately.  Not being in classes yet and only being allowed to work 20 hours a week sure do make life a bit boring.  But the bright side of that is that I am able to read for fun right now.  I’m currently reading The Holiness of God by RC Sproul.  It’s nothing new (so far at least) as far as concepts of the holiness of God.  But it is nice to read a book wholly devoted to His holiness.

 I have a class starting this Saturday.  It meets all day on four Saturdays out of the summer.  The class is Principles of Exegesis.  I’m not looking forward to this class.  For a first year class, it’s going to be a lot of time consuming work .  Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.

The coming heat along with the smell of diesel engines on the highway make me think of Honduras.  It’s hard not going this year.  I’ve been every summer since 2004.  I need to pray more for the people I love there.

 I miss sermons.  Sarah and I had been working children’s church during the month of May.  I don’t like missing a month of sermons, but I will serve.  The age group we had were 2’s and 3’s.  So it was bit taxing (ok, very taxing).  I wish that we could spank the kids, or get the parents to come in from the main service and spank them.  Time outs just don’t work on the kids that get sent to timeout.

Man, I really don’t have much to say.  I could have strung together Anchorman quotes and it would have been more interesting than this post.

My brother-in-law bought Wii Fit yesterday.  So naturally, I stopped what I was doing and went to play it, or be measured by it, or whatever you want to call it.  I tipped the scales at 185 lbs.  Seeing as how I haven’t worked out in over three years, I cannot blame that on muscle weight anymore.  It also asks you to put in your height in order to measure your BMI (Body Mass Index).  I don’t recall my BMI precisely, but I know it was between 30 and 31, with 22 supposedly being ideal.  I remember freshman year of college only weighing 155 while working out religiously.  I would love to get back to that (and so would my wife I bet).

Then, it measures your posture and balance.  I was particularly impressed with this.  It said I have great posture and balance, which I attributed to working out in the past.  Previous to my work out days, I had poor posture and balance.  Working out my back and core really straightened out my spine.

With the measurements of your BMI and your balance and posture, it tells you your Wii Fit age.  This reminded me of Brain Age, if anyone is familiar with that.  It calculated and then told me my Fit age is 20!  Two years below my real age, which it said was quite good.  I tested as the youngest in the family.  Although, my wife’s mother’s age was 11 years younger than her actual age, so kudos to her.

Then, I went into some of the excercises.  They have four categories: Yoga, Strength, Cardio, and Balance.  Naturally, I headed to the Strength first.  I am amazed at the acurracy of the Wii Fit Board.  It could tell when I was doing some of the excercises improperly and gave me a grade corresponding to it.  I was pleased that I came out in the strongest categories in the strength department. 

Two things:

I was a bit nervous when it was weighing me and computing my age.  I remember when I was very confident in my body.  But I’m certainly not anymore.  I yearn to get back to being Fit.

I really think that this “game” can guide people into weight loss and muscle gain.  It doesn’t offer nutritional tips so that is your responsibility.  Yet, the workouts can be quite strenuous (Yoga especially) and it accurately gauges your performance.  Perhaps I will use this since I don’t have a gym to go to anymore.

Why do computers seem to die just before finals, just as one completes a backlog of assignments?  And why doesn’t one backup said files?  At least I made backups part way through.  I just had to redo the last parts of them.  It was not horrible, just time wasted that I needed to spend studying for finals.

Guess I need to shop for a new laptop (4th time the hard drive corrupted the System 32 file in just 5 years and no, it wasn’t a virus).

As I sat in chapel hearing a lecture on the Huguenots, my phone buzzed. I looked to see who it was, and it was my Pastor. I immediately thought the worst. He was calling to see why I would be such a buffoon to have taught on an issue that is rather touchy in our church right now. But I would have to wait 30 more minutes to hear the message he left.

I failed to mention in the my previous post that Communion is a sensitive topic to our church specifically right now. In the past, the youth group had gone through the Westminster Catechism and were examined before they were permitted to receive communion. Yet, (for reasons that are not pertinent to this discussion) the youth group ceased to be (as a group that is; the kids didn’t vanish) and the examinations ended as well. This meant that children had been receiving communion unexamined for years as far as I can tell. Well, that ended recently. We have a youth group and a Youth Minister again and the session (ruling elders for you non-Presbyterians) has stated that it will and must begin examining the children as they should have done all along. This would upset any holder of paedo-communion who may be in the congregation. Furthermore, in order to allow time for the examinations, they have suspended Communion for a short period; which was later explained to mean we would have it again later this month instead of the first Sunday. I don’t know if anyone of you care really, but that’s the context of the story that I left out initially.

Back to the story…

I was seated in the pew, trying to learn about the persecution of French Protestantism in the midst of my anxiety over what my Pastor could have said on the voice mail. He could have told me that that was completely inappropriate for me to speak on such a sensitive issue while he was away. He could have told me that I need to mature in my decision making before I could teach again. He could have just said, “I need to talk to you in person.” I was worried.

Yet, I knew that good things usually come with controversy. I knew that God had directed my steps in choosing the topic. I knew that I have been prepared for things such as this. I also knew, that I still fear man’s judgment, my Pastor’s especially. So, I brushed it off and listened to the wonderful lecture.

Afterwards, I listened to the voice mail. He simply said he had heard a few things and wanted to talk to me and get it straight from the horse’s mouth, which he would have done regardless of how it went. I called him back.

I told him of what happened. I told him of the questions and of the emotion I thought was behind them. I told him he and the rest of the elders may have a bit of a battle on their hands. I told him that I loved every minute of it (which I truly did). He said “Praise God!” The people care deeply about the sacraments. The people desire deep understanding. We have identified possible problems in what people believe the church’s stance is on certain issues. He invited me to join him in the class next Sunday.

God is good. He is faithful. Even controversy and disagreements can be used to His glory and our edification. I just need to stop searching for man’s approval. Forgive me Lord, I only need Your approval.

I’m eager for next Sunday.

I had my first opportunity to teach a Sunday School class yesterday. My pastor teaches a Basic Doctrine class and asked me to fill in for him. He was away at another EPC church where they were installing a new pastor. He had been teaching on the Doctrine of Revelation (as in general vs. specific revelation) but told me to not to worry about staying on that topic; the class usually turns into an “ask the Pastor” session. So with that freedom of deciding what to teach, I chose to teach on the Eucharist after much thought and prayer.

A bit of context is necessary here for those outside the Presbyterian world. Due to our belief in paedo-baptism (infant baptism), there some who hold to paedo-communion (infants, or at least very young children taking communion). Our church does not support that view. And for the matter I do not know exactly where I stand on the subject.

So I taught on the basic doctrine of the Lord’s Supper.

-I taught some basic history of views from the pre-transubstantiation views of the catholic (lowercase “c”) church to the reformation. I specifically focused on Calvin’s view.

-I taught about the Passover of the Old Covenant.

-I taught about those able to receive the sacrament according to our church beliefs. (That being only those baptized, who have made a true confession of faith, and those that have searched their hearts by prompting of the Holy Spirit)

Then, I opened it up for some questions.

-The first few questions were questions regarding the history of the doctrine of Communion and of the Passover. Not too bad.

-One man (from an African nation, I didn’t get a chance to ask him which) asked if he had to be a member and be baptized by our church to receive communion. I told him that he did not need to be a member and that we acknowledge any valid baptism. He was joyous at the news, Praise God!

-Then came the questions which made me squirm a little and made me think the heater just came on in the room. I had no problem speaking on such things; the problem was that I am not an elder, yet they began asking questions specific to our church’s decisions. I could not speak with any authority within the church. I had to preface each answer with “I am not an elder, nor do I speak for any elder. But since you ask this is what I think.” The questions were:

  • Why do we have to have session examine our children?
  • Were there these restrictions placed on those who took Passover?
  • What right does session have in limiting who can take Communion?

These were questions which I could not answer with any authority. I kept thinking to myself that my Pastor would have his hands full when he got back next week. And to top it all off, an elder’s wife (who is quite knowledgeable) was sitting in the front row. I think she was watching as her husband’s job in the church was about to get more difficult.

Also, one new person of the congregation asked if a person’s infant baptism was valid to receive communion. I responded by not only saying yes, but by saying that our church practices paedo-baptism. A hand quickly shot up and retorted, “but that’s just a dedication”. I (as well as the elder’s wife) were shocked to hear this come from a long-time member of the church. We both responded that it is a valid baptism. She asserted that someone at one time had taught that here. I saw the beginnings of an argument so I decided to cut it immediately. I told the class that if anyone had taught that here, then that person was in direct opposition to the beliefs and practices of this church. She was flustered but seemed to understand.

At no time did I oppose or undermine the teachings or decisions made by our elders. Even so, I maintained that my views were not necessarily those of the elders.

I learned a few things by this trial by fire.

  • Our congregants are passionate for Truth.
  • Our congregants are passionate for the Sacraments.
  • Church politics is not fun, specifically for those in Church office
  • I yearn to teach again (if they’ll let me).

Some random thoughts…
-I am enjoying this semester far more than last semester.
-I enjoy having my own house.
-I find myself yearning to learn, but unwilling at times to do the work.
-I just asked God to make me a better reader and writer.
-I like to vacuum.
-Perhaps my favorite part of marriage is going to sleep and waking up with my wife. There is much security, consistency, and tenderness in that.
-God has blessed us financially, but not too much to where we do not rely on Him. I am grateful for that.
-I want to study Abraham Kuyper’s view of “Sphere Sovereignty” more. I think it may be the view which I have held for some time now.
-Two owls were either fighting or mating (not sure how that works with owls) in my yard yesterday. Watching the birds and squirrels in our yard is very relaxing.
-I need to lose weight.
-I need to do the dishes.
-I did the grocery shopping for this week and all we have eaten is red meat and pizza.
-I will hand the grocery authority back over to Sarah (she buys fruit and veggies).
-I was reading while at work that the LDS church (not the fundamentalist LDS church that is in trouble with the law right now) had baptized John Wesley posthumously. I was aware of many others just not Wesley. Joseph Smith did attend a Methodist church before he had his “visions”.

I will end with a Kuyper quote.
“Oh, no single piece of our mental world is to be hermetically sealed off from the rest, and there is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry: ‘Mine!’”

Benji, your post made me curious. So I took it as well. It was a flawed test, yet quite entertaining. Hmmm, more Roman Catholic than Pentecostal, my parents would kill me.

What’s your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Reformed Evangelical

You are a Reformed Evangelical. You take the Bible very seriously because it is God’s Word. You most likely hold to TULIP and are sceptical about the possibilities of universal atonement or resistible grace. The most important thing the Church can do is make sure people hear how they can go to heaven when they die.

Reformed Evangelical

86%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

71%

Fundamentalist

64%

Neo orthodox

64%

Roman Catholic

50%

Classical Liberal

43%

Emergent/Postmodern

39%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

36%

Modern Liberal

4%

The battle lines have been drawn; blood shall be spilt. The enemy is pressing in, flaunting his past victories. His banner is a daunting sight, it darkens the earth beneath. Dismay creeps in. Retreat to a life of comfort taunts me. My hands seem too small to hold this sword. The adversary’s hot breath can be felt on my face. Yet I am comforted. My vision broadens to cover the entire field. It is not I against the enemy. It is I and my brothers led by the One who holds victory. All things are under His feet, including death. Strength rises within me as He steps in front of me, between me and the Evil One. Why did I fear? How foolish was I? The steaming breath of our adversary feels quite stale now, powerless. His banner is tattered and lets much light through. His bold steps are now revealed to be hobbling. He fights to catch his breath as he faces down an enemy whose banner casts its shadow over the whole earth. The outcome of the battle has been determined. Acting it out will change nothing. The stinging scratches of the enemy are now negligible. My Physician will heal any wounds with no difficulty. Now all I must do is keep my eye on the one who holds victory. I chuckle as I see our enemy limping; I shout and stand as the horns blow and my General leaps as a Lion toward the adversary.

Things sure can change fast. I’m engaged now, wedding date is Jan 12. Everything is so different now. I have completely different priorities. Sarah and I just did some preliminary financial planning and well, the Lord is our provider so we shall trust in Him. It seems like life would be so much better with more money. It almost suckers me in, “money can’t buy happiness, but it sure lets you do more stuff”. Budgeting is difficult, but I know it will teach me priorities. No longer will I get a check and immediately go to Carabbas and get a $7 glass of merlot to go with my Pasta Carabba. Instead I will go to the deli meat section of Aldi and pair it with a nice glass of tap water. Don’t get me wrong though I will some affordable bottles of wine, just no more glasses of wine that cost as much as McDonald’s entire dollar menu.
Also, I just need to eat better. Before I left for Honduras this year, I was at the heaviest I had ever been in my life, 192lbs, and I have a rather small frame. So, with better spending habits come better eating habits. I would like to work out again too, especially before my wedding.

Also, I will be starting seminary in less than a month. I have been working at the seminary for about a month and a half now. I have a graduate assistant job that pays $7/hr and 80% of tuition. Without this job, seminary would be something I look forward to doing sometime in the next 10 years. Praise God!

My life is getting really hectic right now. I’m getting pulled in every direction and it seems like no matter what there is still plenty to be done. So, I started praying more. Not even a directed prayer, I just ascribe glory to God. Sometimes I just talk to Him about my fears and concerns. Other times I just ask Him about who He is. These times are pulling me through, keeping my head above water, and my heart from being heavy. Because it is “in Him we live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17.28 ESV)

Life is not random. It appears to me that life has its seasons, appointed by God. That being said, this is an interesting season. I would call it a mixture of fall and spring really (and I’m not speaking of our strange SC weather). This is a season of endings and new beginnings. For starters, my life here at SWU is nearing completion. This is my last semester. But also a time of beginning the pursuit of my masters with me looking toward seminary. It also marks a shift in maturity level. My irresponsible self must die and give way for the mature JackNathan in order for me to obtain certain goals such as seminary and marriage. Which reminds me that also my relational life is shall change as after this semester I may not see many of my good SWU friends again. Yet many incredible relationships remain, yet to begin.
This season, as I refer to it, is also marked by illness and the realization of mortality. I have never known so many around me to be in the hospital around the same time. Several in my church were in the hospital last week and returned this past Sunday to church. There was a couple who were both admitted for different reasons and returned to church only to find later Sunday that their daughter has lung cancer. I just found out upon checking my email that Marcus George has leukemia. I found out today that two other men from my church were admitted to the hospital, one for heart problems, the other, a dear friend of mine who I gave a wonderful hug to the day before found that he has blood clots in his lungs. And also, an elderly and extremely close friend of my girlfriend’s family was admitted to the hospital today and is not expected to make the night.
I trust in the sovereignty of God wholeheartedly. Yet I am not one of the “frozen chosen” who divorces himself from the emotion of the situation. As I trusted in the Lord and rested in His plan and authorship of life, I wept. Let me rephrase that, I am weeping. This once cold dead heart of mine is alive and it is confused. I have never really been confronted with the issue of mortality. There was one scare that I had but it was momentary and therefore did not have the effect on me that this is having. I don’t know how to really put it. It’s like before I accepted death, but now, I accept it yet I realize that acceptance of it does not mean not being impacted by it. I always wondered what it would be like if someone close to me died. It has never happened. Would I try to escape the situation? Would I accept it and just move on as if nothing happened? Would I truly mourn? Would I be inconsolable as I find what it is like to lose someone? I am finding glimpses of what mourning would truly be like as I ponder this inevitability of death.
Also, I have a call to minister, which means I will minister to mourning families at some point. This is a topic which I need to explore.
I praise God that He comforts the mourning, and grants life to us who are already dead. Death is not the end for those purchased by the lamb, yet it is reason for mourning. Jesus himself mourned after word came that His cousin John the Baptist died. That is what I keep telling myself whenever I think that I should be divorced from the heart wrenching pain of the situation and just move on with the simple mutter to myself that it is God’s will.
Right now I must shed some tears as I cry out to God on behalf of my brothers and sisters.

Well I wrote my first sermon and preached it on Friday to my Homiletics class. By the grace of God I think it went rather well. It was excruciatingly painful and thrilling at the same time. I want to do it again.

The Law of Entropy states that any closed system will go from a state of order to disorder. Not only is this a wonderful way to see any macro-evolutionist face contort, but it also has spiritual applications as well.

God is the author of order. Gen 1:1-2a “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void and darkness was over the face of the deep.”
Then over six days and the rest of the first chapter, God creates order. He doesn’t just speak, “fill the earth up” and boom everything was there in a haphazard manner.
No, he methodically filled in the earth. He was not simply filling the earth with life, He was speaking order into the chaos.
But we are sinful, we are depraved, we have turned from God and His ways. So we follow the Law of Entropy. We go from order to chaos. We keep getting dirtier, and filthier, and more and more sinful. But if this is Law how can we escape it? Well, the Law is limited by the words, ‘any closed system’. This means, that outside forces can influence it. Entropy can be halted or even reversed. A child’s room will get more chaotic, more messy if not acted upon by an outside, superior force (the mother). Likewise, our lives are subject to Entropy until acted upon by a an outside, (set apart, holy) superior (Lord) force. God once again, as at the time of creation speaks order into the chaos. He says, “Let there be light” just as on that first day. Again, he does not give one command and be done. The process itself is also orderly and takes time.
Furthermore, the adversary comes in and attempts to pervert this truth against us. He lies to us saying, “you cannot go to God, look how messy you are, disordered, chaotic in your heart. Why would He take you? He is holy is He not? So you should wait till you clean up, and become holy also, because you just cannot go to Him with those rags on.” But this is a perversion and a lie. God does not simply accept order and reject chaos. Nor does He accept chaos. He brings order to the chaos, where it is, in its initial chaotic form. There is no way for chaos to bring order to itself, the Law of Entropy tells us that. Therefore, we must go to God in our hurting, dizzying, chaotic state, for there is no other state we can be without Him. And He will bring calm to the storm and order to the chaos.

I have a job now. It doesn’t start until Oct 1st though. It is at the UPS Store in Anderson. That was a huge blessing. A ton of people applied and they hired two people. I was one of them. My job experience was only being an RA last year, so I was amazed quite frankly that I got the job. Praise the Lord!

Lately, I have been thinking about living according to the Spirit of the Law. This is what came to my mind:

“When you build a new house, you shall make a parapet for your roof, that you may not bring the guilt of blood upon your house, if anyone should fall from it.” -Deuteronomy 22:8 (ESV)

This is intended to make the people of Israel protect their brothers from harm. To love them enough to protect them from inadvertantly causing harm. So I began applying it to different things in life. Speeding is dangerous and it puts others at risk. I won’t speed anymore. I am glad my car has airbags and is rated high on safety, because I want to protect anyone who rides with me. Many applications can be made when living according to the Spirit of the Law. And though it seems that you put restrictions on yourself that are not pleasant. Freedom can actually be found in living according to the Spirit instead of the letter of the Law.

Another aha! moment I’ve had recently was in regard to self-discipline. I am a fallen, fleshy, filthy, lazy, wretched sinner. I have the Holy Spirit of God bidding me to put to death these ways. I cannot do it on my own. But I have been deceived into thinking recently that I am not strong enough to get out of this quagmire and any temptation swiftly punches me in the gut and I follow it as if it were my master and I still its slave. While it is true that I do not possess the strength to put an end to my evil ways on my own, I have Christ’s strength and resolve residing in me. I had been deceived (or I deceived myself) into forgetting that fact recently. Therefore, I choose to rely on God. Victory is coming…

Well, I’m back from Honduras…God is amazing.
It was such an awe inspiring trip. This trip had a different feel to it from the last trip. I personally felt like a warrior. It was a spiritual battle the entire time. God used me in ways I hadn’t been used before.

Well, I’ve also turned 21…I feel different.
I feel like I am more of an adult now for some reason. It’s almost as if this birthday has made me ready to progress to the next part of my life, after college. Oh and as of today I have not enjoyed the benefits of being 21.

Well, I’m also back from probably my last family vacation. We went to the Pigeon Forge/Sevierville area. I also felt older this time because I think I enjoyed shopping and going to the outlets in Sevierville over going to Dollywood. I bought new shoes at the Timberland store that normally cost $90, I got it for $25. And a jacket there at about 75% off. And that makes me happy.

Well, the pledge of allegicance was said in church on Sunday, being the Sunday before Independence Day. I did not participate. I am in no way unpatriotic, I love this country, support the troops, and gladly will sing “God Bless America”. I submit to the authority of the government gladly and thank God for the blessings I enjoy being born here. However, I do not nor will I ever take an oath of allegiance to this nation. God does not like our oath making, and if these idle oaths are ever broken, I’m sure God is not pleased either. Also, this nation is increasingly hostile to Christians. While I realize things could be much worse, I do not pledge allegiance to a power whose motion is going towards that of one opposed to my beautiful Lord. So, in short, I do not think the pledge of allegiance is a good thing for Christians to do (so fussing about taking God out of the pledge is worthless anyway, also that phrase that Christians do not want removed, was added years later, it was not in the original). Feedback is definately desired on this topic.

Also, I am going to Honduras shortly. I can’t wait. Although our team has been attacked by the enemy already in certain areas, one of which is health. I myself felt a little sick today. I do not know if the malaria medicine is having a delayed effect or this is an attack. Either way I am not worried, God called me to go so I know I’m going. But I definately covet the prayers of my Christian brothers.

So I’m sitting here in the dark in my living room at home. For some reason, the vastness of this life is hitting me square in the head. I want to sit and let the world go on without me, like I am not up to the task. I know it’s not true but I just can’t shake that feeling now. I want to read, yet laziness is getting the best of me. I’m so much happier when I am productive but I keep choosing to do nothing as if that will somehow be more enjoyable; what a lie that is. I’m actually going to Honduras in just over a week, and I am not ready. I want to go so much but I just haven’t done anything to prepare really. Stupid complacency and laziness, I hate it so much. So my feeling of unproductivity makes me feel inadequate to what my future holds. In a way that is true, I can’t be like this and do what God has laid out for me. I’ve got to change. And like its been said, in order to change your life you must first change a day in your life. So I guess my task is to change tomorrow, and then the day after that. I had plans for this summer; then I just threw them away to be sit in a slothful stupor. Well not anymore…

So the PCUSA is considering changing how they refer to the three members of the Holy Trinity. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,200174,00.html
Somehow I don’t think “Mother, child, womb” is glorifying to God. I hate this stupid mordernism that is in the American church that tries to appeal and accept everybody and everything instead of educating and sanctifying the sinner. I’m glad that there are some in that denomination that know better. I pray that God will purge this modern heresy from His body and sanctify His bride.

Well, I thought it through, and I suppose I will allow others to see this blog. I thought of having it as a personal thing, but then I really thought about it and realized that a lot of these things that I will be writing on, I would like some feedback on from other people. And also, I don’t even know if anyone will read this anyway, so why not show the address on my profiles and see what happens. I guess I’ll find out if anyone finds me interesting enough to read my crap and follow my rabbit holes.

Well, last night, I was in sin. So instead of immediately seeking to be made whole again by God, I decided to explore the consequences of my sin. I know I should never put of seeking God, yet I felt that I should not be quite reconciled yet; I needed to explore more deeply the effects of my not communing with God. My findings shook me.
Despair, utter despair and despondency. I found that there was no hope. I desperately wanted to return to my sin to give me some sort of satisfaction, not for enjoyment really, just to delay the pain. But I refused to return to the sin. So, the only thing that could take my mind away from my miserable meaningless state was sleep. I yearned for sleep to make the pain go away. Yet I knew that it would not solve my problems, it would just delay it until I awoke and met the same dismal truth. There is no hope, no joy, no peace, no rest, no satisfaction, no life without my beautiful YHWH.
So I returned to God after I truly explored and meditated on what it was like in that short time to be opposed to God in my sin. One more nail in the coffin of cheap grace.

Well, I finally broke down and started a blog. I guess I just didn’t want to follow the trend and be like everyone else. I wanted to be my own person and not do the new cool thing, but I realized that I need this for myself. There is just to much going on in life to not write down and give permanence to. So this will be my attempt to grasp and actually keep and perhaps even communicate what this life is. Will it be a love story, a drama, an action, a comedy, or a satire?